Jesus Gives Honest Counsel - August 9, 2013

Proverbs 27:6
6 Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.

Ephesians 4:15
15 Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church.

Jesus shows us that real friends care enough to confront. Even when it's painful, they'll tell you the truth. They won't let you waste your life in silence.

I've found that correcting another person in a loving way is powerful. Done the right way, it builds people up. The difference between the right and the wrong way is your attitude.

If all you're doing is pointing out faults, then stop. The purpose has to be to correct, not to condemn. You need to ask, "What's my motive in this? Am I correcting him for my benefit or for his benefit?"

A lot of times we want to correct people just because they're being jerks and they're hassling us. We think, "If they would stop being such a jerk, my life would be easier."

That's the wrong motive.

Instead, follow Ephesians 4:15, which says, "Speak the truth in love." So the key to proper correction: Affirm the person; then correct the behavior.

Constructive not destructive.
If we correct someone with the best intentions, then it can actually benefit another, because they recognize that they're doing something incorrect that might be holding them back in one aspect of their life.
If we correct another person for our own benefit (such as pointing out someone's flaws) can actually cause more problems for the person, maybe making them feel more insecure. If we come with the best, loving intentions, it will seem more genuine, sincere and constructive for someone.
When we tell someone up-front the truth about their behaviour that may be holding them back, it could be painful, but it will bring a new realization to the other person. We just have to do this in a loving matter, not harshly, or else it seems more destructive and doesn't really offer any support.
We have to build one another up in our faith, we just have to keep an unconditional love in our hearts that help stem support to others.

14 Do everything in love.
-1 Corinthians 16:14